Love Island's Camilla Thurlow has bravely discussed how her crippling anxiety and depression led to her to consider suicide.
The reality star, who came second with boyfriend Jamie Jewitt in the 2017 dating series, explained that there have been times where she wondered what it would be like "not being alive."
Psst...We have exciting news to share about the future of Pretty 52
Advert
Sharing her mental health journey, Camilla admitted that when she turned 30 she hit a "low point" and felt as though she was in a "constant negative spiral" during an appearance on Elizabeth Day's How to Fail podcast.
The Scottish star said: "It's difficult for the people around you of course, if you're a people pleaser as soon as you start disappointing the people around you because you're feeling like that then you're trapped in that, is just a constant negative spiral."
It was during this time that Camilla explained that the dark thoughts started to take over and she "entertained" what not being alive would be like.
Advert
She continued: "You start to entertain thoughts about what not being alive would be like, even if it's just letting that cross your mind or whether it becomes a more serious thought pattern.
"But then there's just this constant feeling of unease, just in general, and it starts to become unbearable to be inside my own head all the time and I get completely trapped in it, trapped in a really sort of negative spiral."
Adding: "It's hard to talk about this necessarily, it's not that the other option becomes any less terrifying but when life becomes unbearable like that you do start to think in a different way, it starts to change the way you look at everything."
Advert
The TV star said she suffers from "self-loathing" during her darkest moments and shared that before Love Island she was in a "difficult phase" of her life.
She shared: "It's like I can help other people but I can't help myself. To sit with myself and try and support myself when I'm feeling a bad moment I just descend into self-loathing.
"I'd had it before so this year it was a reoccurrence and was managed a lot better. But immediately before Love Island I was in a very, very difficult phase and I really struggled to see a way out of it.
"It's when you can't see a way out, there's no light because you don't think that there's light at the end of the tunnel."
Advert
Camilla's candid discussion about her own mental health comes a year after the death of Sophie Gradon and months following Mike Thalassitis' death, both of whom took their own lives.
If you're struggling and need to talk, the Samaritans operates a free phoneline open 24/7. Call 116 123 or email [email protected] if you'd prefer to write down your thoughts.
Featured Image Credit: PATopics: Life News, Celebrity News, Real, Love Island, Health