Expert shares eight red flags that means you could be dating a narcissist
Cuffing season is officially upon us, and whilst many singletons are relieved not to be tied down, other lonely hearts are simply wishing they've got someone to cuddle up and watch Love, Actually with.
But as 2023 draws to a close, one relationship expert has warned daters not to settle for just any Tom, Dick or Harry.
In particular, Tina Wilson - founder of the Wingman App - believes that single people should be wary of 'relationship narcissists' during the festive period.
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Apparently, the first quality one should avoid when finding 'the One' is someone who feels too good to be true.
"We all have our quirks that make us human but a narcissist will often lure in their victims by being everything they think their new partner would want," Tina explained.
"This includes being attentive, caring, slightly jealous and always present or thinking of you, even answering texts and calls whenever you need them.
"Beware though, this doesn’t last long.
"This appears more self serving and it satisfies their needs more than yours or your blossoming relationship," she explained.
"If things appear too good to be true, don’t ring the alarm bells straight way but pay extra close attention to their actions to see for sure what direction this is going in."
Giving themselves 'third party admirations' are also things to be avoided, says Tina, being that a narcissist 'loves to constantly tell tales of how amazing people think they are or how they’re celebrated'.
Telling you things like 'my boss says I'm the best', or 'people love me', are all attempts to reinforce their own belief system that, if they say it, it will be so.
"Try turning the tables and see what happens," Tina advised. "Talk up your own accomplishments or experiences and see how your new partner reacts."
"If magically the conversation suddenly has a way of bringing them back into the spotlight, then they are likely displaying narcissistic behaviours and are not celebrating you."
Similarly, if there ego is off the scale, this is HUGE cause for concern.
"Many successful people have a slightly inflated ego but not a god complex yet a narcissist will believe themselves to be special and that really no one will ever meet their level," said Tina.
It sounds obvious to say, but people who profess never to be wrong should be strongly avoided, according to Tina.
"Stop and pay attention if you find yourself second-guessing your own belief system or version of events," she insists.
"If anyone questions what they say; it will be met with an attacking or spiteful response, usually putting you down, in order for them to feel better,' added the dating expert.
Warning against gaslighting, Tina added: "Narcissists will try to make you reliant on them as their opinion of themselves is so over inflated that they feel the attention they are giving you will secure you.
"Then they begin to show their true self and start to criticise your behaviour or the way you dress to make you question yourself."
She advised daters to 'confide in your friends and family as soon as possible' if you start picking up on questionable gaslighting behaviour.
And if your friends notice you've started distancing yourself whilst in a relationship with this person, it could be a sign that they've orchestrated this on purpose.
"It's normal, especially in early relationships, to spend more time together as a couple as you get to know each other, but have you stopped listening to sounds advice from those around you? Have you shut them off?" she asks.
"Feel your own behaviour is changing? These are clear warning signs. Friends know us best and if they are true friends only want what is best for us."
Your partner appearing to live in a fantasy world is another tell-tale sign of a narcissist.
Tina advises daters to 'show curiosity without giving away scepticism and clearly listen' when presented with 'fabulous stories of their job or connections which all sounds so plausible and real that you would never question it when you first meet someone'.
Similar to gaslighting, turning everything around onto you is another behaviour commonly presented by narcissists.
Tina uses the example of your partner accusing you of being cold and distant towards them, when these are the exact behaviours that they have been displaying themselves.
"Be aware that projection in relationships can be a manipulative tactic to turn things back on you," she advises. "Go with your own instincts."
Topics: Sex and Relationships
Rhianna Benson