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Love Island: Why Relationships Are Never The Same After Cheating

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Love Island: Why Relationships Are Never The Same After Cheating

Over on Love Island, things have been drama-filled in recent weeks. Casa Amor saw the boys and girls separated into two different villas, and given the opportunity to get to know a brand new set of potential partners.

And as is always the way, some of the islanders decided to stray, despite having previous attachments back in the main villa.

Liam Reardon and Millie Court were perhaps the most damning storyline of the lot, because they looked so solid from the offset. Yet despite this, it didn't take Liam too long to share a kiss with bombshell Lillie Haynes, despite his obvious attachment to Millie back home.

Liam was in the dog house after his Casa Amor antics (Credit: ITV)
Liam was in the dog house after his Casa Amor antics (Credit: ITV)
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Anyway, you probably know the rest... Liam came home alone, Millie was raging, but after a little time to cool off, and a hell of a lot of grovelling, they've resolved to put aside their differences and attempt to make things work.

But can they go back to what they once were? Can any relationship recover after a cheating incident?

Tyla spoke to Alex Mellor-Brook, relationship expert & co-founder of Select Personal Introductions, about whether cheating is the be-all and end-all for a couple.

It's important to find out why someone cheated in a relationship (Credit: Unsplash)
It's important to find out why someone cheated in a relationship (Credit: Unsplash)
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“A relationship is built on morals, values and trust," Alex says. "So when someone in a relationship cheats that trust is broken, damaging the core essence of that relationship.

“If couples can work their way through it, then great, but most often cheating tends to come up in future discussions, disagreements and is weaponised as a way to win an argument."

He warns: "People generally never forget about their partner’s infidelity and red flags will always play a role in the relationship going forward.”

Communication is a key factor when deciding to continue in the relationship (Credit: Unsplash)
Communication is a key factor when deciding to continue in the relationship (Credit: Unsplash)
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In other words, cheating is pretty darn toxic for any relationship.

So, why do people do it? Alex explains: “The motivations for cheating can vary depending on what is currently happening in someone’s life and the stresses raised.

"There are many layers as to why someone cheats. Even the examples listed, can be the result, but not the source."

He then proceeds to list a few of these instances, such as:

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·      A new family – fatigue, lack of sleep, anxiety, loneliness, hormones, depression and stress.

·      Stress and anxiety at work

·      Lack of intimacy & affection

·      Feeling insecure in a relationship.

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·      Attention from someone you’re attracted to.

·      Miscommunication in a relationship - Love languages can help identify where tis is breaking down.

·      Addiction

·      Time apart

What are someone's motivations for cheating? (Credit: Pexels/RODNAE Productions)
What are someone's motivations for cheating? (Credit: Pexels/RODNAE Productions)

Those who are cheated on can be impacted in a number of ways, he adds. Their self esteem can be shattered, they can end up isolating themselves, feeling insecure, lonely and lacking trust with others.

Anxiety, addiction, self-harming and depression are also risks.

That's why Alex says transparency with your partner is vital if you have cheated, in order to mitigate these symptoms.

“If you cannot be brutally honest about the relationship and why someone cheated, you will not be able to resolve the issue," he says.

"There is a root cause as to why the infidelity came about in the first place and without honesty, and clear discussions you will never identify the issues, or learn how to resolve them.”

A relationship will never be the same after cheating (Credit: Pexels/RODNAE Productions)
A relationship will never be the same after cheating (Credit: Pexels/RODNAE Productions)

In order for a relationship to have any chance of surviving after a cheating scandal, the offending party has to be sorry - and we mean really sorry, not just sorry they got caught.

"It's about remorse, remorse, remorse," he says.

And even then, there's no promising remorse, or any amount of had work, will be enough though.

Alex says the cheating partner must show remorse for their actions (Credit: Pexels/Alex Green)
Alex says the cheating partner must show remorse for their actions (Credit: Pexels/Alex Green)

However much you grovel and talk it through, "if you don’t learn why the situation happened, you could find yourself in the same situation again and again and again," he warns.

So the answer is "talking," "listening" and really teaching yourself to care for your partner again.

And if there are still unanswered questions in either of your heads, then he says you'd be better to call it quits.

You can rebuild trust in your relationship once more (Credit: Pexels/Blue Bird)
You can rebuild trust in your relationship once more (Credit: Pexels/Blue Bird)

Leaving some parting wisdom for anybody who might be going down the same path as Liam, Alex says: “If you are thinking about cheating, stop and think about what you are doing. Think about the consequences.

"If cheating means losing the relationship you have, are you willing for this to happen?"

He adds: “How much do you respect your partner? Do you respect them enough to stop? Switch the situation between you and your partner. How would you feel if they did what you are about to do?"

Instead of making any rash decisions, he suggests: "Look at your relationship, talk about it to your partner. "Address the issues. If what you have is good, make it stronger. A relationship takes work. For some people, that’s too much.."


Featured Image Credit: ITV

Topics: Sex and Relationships, Love Island, ITV

Charlotte Forrester
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