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Man Says Girlfriend Doesn't 'Value' Herself For Buying Brazilian Bikini Bottoms

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Man Says Girlfriend Doesn't 'Value' Herself For Buying Brazilian Bikini Bottoms

Sometimes, when you're caught up in a relationship with someone, you can't be objective when assessing a situation.

Rose-tinted glasses makes it hard for us to see any glaringly obvious problems, which is why sharing any issues with an impartial audience can come in handy.

Step forward Reddit's r/relationships thread, which sees people anonymously post their problems or queries about their partner online for a group of unbiased people to provide advice. Think of it as a free agony-aunt service.

One girl said her boyfriend didn't like her swimwear (Credit: Unsplash)
One girl said her boyfriend didn't like her swimwear (Credit: Unsplash)
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Now, one girl has shared her conundrum with the group, explaining her boyfriend believes she should dress more modestly.

Posted by Reddit user Educational_Lie_3184, the woman explained: "I recently got new bikini bottoms that I believe are 'Brazilian cut' which means they show more of my booty cheeks. it's not a thong and covers a lot of my bum still. i myself do not like exposing myself all that much but these new bottoms really make me feel good about how I look in the mirror!

"My boyfriend genuinely thinks that the more you cover up, the more you value yourself. He hates when people look at me. At the same time - this man will mow the lawn shirtless, wear short shorts and even pull him swim trunks up to tan at the pool.

"I don't know how else to explain this to him. I have told him that if he doesn't like my bikini bottoms, that he doesn't have to wear them. I don't care what other people think. they're going to look at me no matter what I'm wearing. I'm a 20 year old female."

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The boyfriend in question said she would wear more modest clothing (Credit: Unsplash)
The boyfriend in question said she would wear more modest clothing (Credit: Unsplash)

The girl, who clarified that her boyfriend is also 20 and they've been together for five years, continued that her partner has asked her to 'cover up' in front of his older brother.

"I'm tired of being seen by my own boyfriend as somebody who doesn't 'value' themselves all because I don't wear the most modest things out there," she said.

"We're going on vacation with his older brother and my bf had asked me repeatedly if I am going to wear that in front of him.

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"I have responded with, 'If you need me to cover up myself to make you comfortable with me hanging out with your brother, that reflects more on him than it does on me'.

The couple have argued over the issue (Credit: Pexels)
The couple have argued over the issue (Credit: Pexels)

"I want to reiterate that I don't dress like a stripper. All my parts are covered and more."

Have you scraped your jaw from off the floor yet? Because this sort of behaviour from a partner is not acceptable.

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Thankfully, the Reddit community seem to agree, with many simply urging the girl to "dump" her boyfriend.

"Your boyfriend is telling you he doesn't value women who don't cover up," one person responded. "He is telling you his respect for you depends on how much clothing you wear.

"Think about if that's the kind of person you want to be with."

"Could you value yourself a little more by getting rid of this insecure, body policing 20 year old puritan?" a second person asserted. "Maybe he has other good qualities, but this seems like a pretty striking deal breaker to me."

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A third added: "He only applies [dressing modestly] to women. He also thinks of women as something he has the right to control.

People urged the girl to leave her 'controlling' boyfriend (Credit: Pexels)
People urged the girl to leave her 'controlling' boyfriend (Credit: Pexels)

"He doesn't consider you an adult human being with autonomy."

A fourth said this can be a slippery slope and could leave to dangerously controlling behaviour.

"Your boyfriend is trying to see how far he can get with controlling you," they wrote. "It always starts small, with clothes. Then it progresses to who you can see, then the next thing you know, you can't leave the house."

Another person said the girl should be more assertive towards her partner, if she wasn't considering breaking up.

"You're young. Make some boundaries regarding your body and tell him his comments are off limits," they explained. "Then leave when he violates that boundary. It doesn't matter if you dress like a stripper either. If he doesn't like the way you look when you dress there are cows out there for him that will dress the way he tells them. Are you one of those cows?"

Fingers crossed she sees sense...

Featured Image Credit: Unsplash

Topics: Sex and Relationships, Life, Reddit

Kimberley Bond
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