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Woman Posts First-Hand Account Of How To Leave An Abusive Relationship

Woman Posts First-Hand Account Of How To Leave An Abusive Relationship

There are no clear statistics on domestic violence due to the rate at which incidents are reported, but according to Women's Aid, the police in England and Wales receive over 100 calls relating to domestic abuse every hour.

The majority of victims of domestic abuse are women, and while some people might suggest that women should "just leave" their abusers, it is never, ever that easy.

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Women leave and come back to their abusive partners an average of seven times before they either leave for good or are tragically killed. On average, two women a week are killed by an abusive partner in England and Wales.

Credit: Unsplash
Credit: Unsplash

There are many reasons why a woman might find it difficult to leave an abusive partnership for good. There can be children involved, a woman can be scarred and belittled by the emotional assaults she's endured and a lack of money and security can all play a part (along with a world of other reasons).

If the abusive partner controls finances or the housing situation, or has cut the woman off from her friends and family, leaving can get even harder.

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Understanding this first hand, a woman - known only as 'Maddie' has posted a detailed plan for leaving an abusive partner for good on Facebook.

Her tips are practical and detailed, and while she appears to be located in Australia, many of the tips included are universally relevant.

Credit: Facebook/Bored Panda
Credit: Facebook/Bored Panda

Maddie recommends buying a cheap phone and keeping it fully charged and hidden. This will be the phone that the survivor uses so that the abuser cannot get hold of them. She additionally suggests that it might be a good idea to start early sending your possessions to loved ones, work, or storage - while you mightn't be able to take too much on the day you leave, pretending you're having a "clear out" and sending some precious possessions away from your home is a good way of ensuring they're safe.

Credit: Facebook/Bored Panda
Credit: Facebook/Bored Panda

While many victims of abuse will feel cut off from their friends, family or workmates, Maddie says that reaching out is worth it - they may be happy to help once they know the truth. She also suggests warning work so that they can help you with a randomised schedule or with not letting on to your abuser where you are. Other people she suggests reaching out to are the police, churches, refuges, or shelters - there is help out there, and if you have a safe and secure way of researching or reaching out to people, it's possible you can get help.

Credit: Facebook/Bored Panda
Credit: Facebook/Bored Panda

Maddie's comprehensive advice goes as far as suggesting what to do with your kids or animals to ensure that they're safe, too, as many people stay with abusive partner due to fear surrounding what will happen to their children or pets. On the day, she suggests being nice to the abuser so as not to stir suspicion. She also says that you should make sure your bags aren't too heavy, turn off your phone, log out of all accounts, and get your mail redirected, among other things.

You can read Maddie's full guide here. If you are a victim of domestic violence, you can reach out to the Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247.

Featured Image Credit: Unsplash

Marianne Eloise

Marianne writes about TV, film and internet culture for Nylon, VICE, The Guardian, Vulture, Time Out and more. She was previously a staff writer at Dazed.

 

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