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Woman Close To Giving Up On Love After Being Called 'Fat' On Dating Apps

Woman Close To Giving Up On Love After Being Called 'Fat' On Dating Apps

Many of us know, online dating can be a brutal place, from ghosting to breadcrumbing, there is a term for every brutal dating action.

But whilst ignoring someone online is one thing, calling them "fatty" and saying you hope they meet a wife beater all because they aren't interested in you, is a whole different kettle of fish.

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Credit: Kennedy News and Media
Credit: Kennedy News and Media

That is exactly what happened to Jess Smith, 26, since re-joining dating apps Plenty of Fish and Tinder.

Jess, a debt collector from Leeds, initially met her boyfriend online last year, but once it ended after ten months, she decided to give it another go, after it helped her to find love the first time around.

Credit: Kennedy News and Media
Credit: Kennedy News and Media

But instead of love, Jess has only found hate and sexually explicit messages from abusive lotharios on the apps, with hundreds of vile matches sending her abuse and requesting nudes, despite her profile requesting 'a gentleman'.

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One user said: "If you're serious about finding someone get your arse down the gym and stop using filters.

"And lay off them doughnuts to." [sic]

Credit: Kennedy News and Media
Credit: Kennedy News and Media
Credit: Kennedy News and Media
Credit: Kennedy News and Media

Jess replied: "Funny how you swiped right though.

"Your mum must be so proud."

She said of the comments: "This kicked off because I asked him to be respectful."

Credit: Kennedy News and Media
Credit: Kennedy News and Media

"He just didn't like when I called him out for being cocky and rude.

"It's such a low blow.

"You wouldn't walk up to someone in the street and tell them they're fat," she added.

Despite the constant battering, frequently on the receiving end of fat-shaming comments, Jess is pretty positive and handles it well.

She said: "I just laugh it off and think it's so pathetic.

"But there are people out there who it will hit deeper.

"I'm more thick-skinned and I think everyone handles rejection differently."

Credit: Kennedy News and Media
Credit: Kennedy News and Media

In one exchange, she claims she rebuffed a Tinder match when he asked for nude pictures of her and he responded by calling her a 'one [out of 10] on a good day'.

Charming.

Another exchange started off with Jess being called gorgeous, but when she failed to reply, he soon turned bitter, saying: "You are very ignorant I'm glad you didn't reply hope you find a nice wife beater".

Jess handles rejection slightly differently.

She said: "If someone didn't reply to my message I would just think I'm not their type.

"I wouldn't think to start insulting them.

"People think it's acceptable to say stuff because you're behind a screen.

"I don't consider myself to be unattractive but if I've upset somebody I'm suddenly the ugliest person in the world."

She added: "I think [when you call them out] it hits home that they're actually talking to a real person that has just gone on a dating site to try and find somebody.

"If you tell them to show their mum the message, they think, 'oh sh*t, maybe I shouldn't have said that'. I think it hits home then."

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Credit: Kennedy News and Media
Credit: Kennedy News and Media
Credit: Kennedy News and Media
Credit: Kennedy News and Media

Jess wants to give up on dating apps having had such a terrible time with it, but she just doesn't know where else she'll find Mr Right.

She said: "I've considered giving up online dating. I am on and off online dating all the time - sometimes I can't be bothered [with all the abuse]. I don't think [dating] is going to go in a good direction to be honest - especially on Plenty of Fish.

"With every single person I talk to, we'll have a great conversation and it will turn into something sexual within an hour or two hours.

"That's not what I want.But then I feel stuck because where am I going to meet someone? It's the same with everyone - you're working or you're busy.

"The dating sites are convenient and it's good to get to know someone and not spend hours and hours out and about. But it's also getting inconvenient for people because they're getting abused on there."

Credit: Kennedy News and Media
Credit: Kennedy News and Media

Jess' friends are not keen on Jess using dating apps full stop.

She says they are shocked she is looking for a relationship by online dating as it has become synonymous with 'easy hookups'.

She said: "I put in my bio on tinder, if you speak inappropriately to me, you're going to get unmatched."

But despite Jess' best efforts to find the right Romeo, her requests for charmers rather than time-wasters seems to largely go unnoticed, her inbox still flooded with dozens of nasty messages every week.

When will we all sit up and recognise that we need to treat people online with the same respect as we do in person?

It's about time the online world was a kinder and safer place and we can all do our bit to help.

Featured Image Credit: Kennedy News and Media

Topics: Dating, Real, Life, Sex & Relationships, Tinder

Lauren Bell

A freelance journalist working for Tyla. After graduating with a journalism degree, Lauren started off in real life magazines before moving into the fashion and lifestyle sector at the likes of Mail Online and Sun Online. Contact Tyla: [email protected]

 

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