A Woman Forms An Unlikely Friendship With Her Partner's Ex-Wife

If you're anything like us, the first thing you do when you start seeing someone you really like is check out their exes (don't pretend you wouldn't do the same!)

But while we're totally guilty of a bit of online stalking, one woman has taken it even further, and has become best friends with her partner's ex-wife.

JJ Barnes is best mates with Kate Marris, with the pair meeting through JJ's current beau Jonathan Mckinney.

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At first, Stafford-based screenwriter JJ, 35, said she felt "weird" when her musician partner, 38 revealed he was still "good friends" with his ex-wife for five years.

However, fast forward half a decade and now JJ herself is best pals with Kate, with the pair seeing each other daily and even going to the pub together.

Now, JJ is hoping to normalise friendships between exes in order to make it easier on those who share children.

"When I first met Kate in 2015, I was intimidated by her beauty and intelligence," JJ explains.

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"I did find it quite nerve-wracking that she was still on the scene. But their marriage ended as they were more like friends than lovers.

"They kept in touch for their son Ezekiel, seven, which is amazing. I instantly respected Jonathan when he made it clear that Kate is an important part of his life because she is his son's mother."

Jonathan was going through the divorce in 2014 when he met JJ, who had recently become a single mum to Rose, then three, and Buffy, then five months.

After a couple of months of dating, the women were introduced and have been inseparable ever since - completing the school runs together and visiting each other's houses so their children can play.

"It was strange at the start for me to understand it all but never weird as they always included me," JJ says.

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"I had to get used to how their friendship works. Then it suddenly fell into place."

She continues: "Kate became someone a friend who we hang out with. We see Kate every day as she lives five-minute walk away. My daughter Buffy calls her aunty Kate as she has always been a part of her life.

"Our friendship is like any other - we text a lot and sometimes I even complain about Jonathan not picking up his socks as we have a shared frustration."

JJ, who is also a divorcee, admits her friends and family were 'confused' and 'worried' at the start - but are now used to the fact the threesome are all close friends.

"There is an assumption that a break up means you hate each other," she says. "But relationships can end for all kinds of reasons.

"Kate is like one of my best friends now. I think women are often cat-fighting with an exes new partner and it's not necessary. If there is children involved then it is important that everyone gets along. It makes everything healthier, our children don't see angry or hatred."

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Even Jonathan was surprised when the two women became so close.

"I hadn't really considered that they would develop a friendship," he says. "I wanted my son to grow up in environments where the adults parenting him were positive about each other, and reinforced each other's rules and philosophies and so on.

"Their friendship is their friendship, really. As long as we're all on board with how our parenting impacts all of the kids, I'm easy going about everything else."

This sounds like such a lovely, positive environment for the children!

Topics: Really?, Life, Sex & Relationships, Real Life

Kimberley Bond

Kim is a journalist at Tyla, and has previously worked at the Evening Standard, Radio Times as well as several national newspapers. A showbiz obsessive and a television fanatic, Kim is particularly interested in celebrity gossip, A-list events and the latest releases on either the big or small screen. Contact her at [email protected]

@0xKimberley