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Last week, Wayne Lineker put out an ad for a girlfriend, prompting women across the country to ask the question: can this man be real?
As part of his requirements, the brother of football legend Gary Lineker, 58, asked that his future girlfriend had to be a 'worldie' and 'above 30 (Ok 28 29 could work)' adding, 'but not my age as that would just look weird'.
He stipulated that she would need to 'give up her career, not want children, be able to cook ready meals, love R&B music and not watch chick flicks'.
The entrepreneur also asked that they be 'confident enough to be able to go to the front of the queue in nightclubs and accept a table and free drinks from the owners', have 'body definition' and let his PA 'book all yours and our flights and purchase items online for you'. Vom.
Now, a single mum has parodied the advert asking for her own dream boyfriend.
Kerrie Berri, who once actually shared a banana milkshake with Wayne when they met briefly in Ibiza six years ago, says she's followed him on Instagram ever since - until last week.
Putting out an ad of her own, Kerrie asserted off the bat that her future lover must be 'an Adonis over six feet with a massive k***'.
Her post read: "I've not had much luck with the dating sites as we all know, so inspired by @waynelineker latest post here are my requirements.
"Let's start off like I'm normal...strong, nice loving personality. Now onto the more important things.
"You must be an Adonis over 6ft with a massive k*** and younger than me, not my age because that would look weird!
"You must feel comfortable with having a partner that is more successful and earns more than you.
"Don't worry though if you are a good boy I will give you an allowance and I will insure you on my Land Rover so you can drive a big car."
She went on: "No baggage as my daughter is grown up now. But you must love my dogs, Evie & Bowie, like they are your own children.
"You MUST be Educated enough to know when to use their, there and they're. You MUST never use LOL or LMAO unless your arse literally falls off your body and onto the floor.
"You have to enjoy the gym and go every day. Having a six pack is vital because I want something nice to look at whilst you cook me dinner after a hard day at work.
"You can't be obsessed with yourself or overconfident though because that's just so unattractive."
It continued: "When we settle down for some Netflix's don't moan about the chick flicks....if you wanna watch another action film then go to your mates, but not too often...maybe once a month?
"We can negotiate that. I'll expect my back tickled and my hair played with whilst we are watching the film.
"With 362 followers on instagram and 251 followers on tiktok, you'll need to accept that I HAVE to reply to men's messages as well as girls on all social platforms.
"Ohhh and one last thing this is obviously a joke!!"
Wayne later apologised for his post and claimed it was 'tongue-in-cheek banter' with more than 42,500 people liking or commenting on his request.
However, that didn't stop hoards of women taking a moment to poke fun at the post - Kerrie being one of them.
A 38-year-old woman. Writing this pic.twitter.com/svHXf8NyQw
- Yvette Caster (@YvetteCaster) September 16, 2020
Wayne Lineker's Ideal Girlfriend? pic.twitter.com/3L1vGUnXIG
- Flora Anderson (@Flora_Anderson) September 17, 2020
Kerrie says that while her post was clearly a joke, she has the 'worst luck' when it comes to dating and credits it mainly to potential dates not being comfortable with her success and higher salary.
The mum-of-one says she believes men can't handle women who earn the same or more than them.
She said: "The people who know me well know how ridiculous my post is. They know I'm quite a feminist and I'm all about equal rights, but I've had the worst luck dating.
"I sometimes think my friends think I'm being too fussy and that's why I haven't found someone, but I'm not. There are complete weirdos out there.
"I think some of these men need to have the treatment Wayne Lineker got and feel a bit embarrassed.
"My friends think [Wayne's post] was all done tongue and cheek to start with, but knowing men I think at first it was genuine and then obviously he got called out and got embarrassed and had to backtrack a bit."
Kerrie added: "The woman he wants doesn't exist. She's not out there.
"I have met him once. We shared a milkshake at Ocean beach. I liked him in person and followed him on Instagram.
"He does his rounds but I was at the bar and the guy in front of me ordered some drinks and asked Wayne, 'what can I get you?'.
"Wayne said a banana milkshake and was saying how good they were. I said, 'that's a bit odd, everyone is getting cocktails and expensive alcohol'. It's very flashy.
"He said to me, 'no these are the best, you can't beat them, here you go, have some' and we ended up sharing a banana milkshake.
"My friend managed to capture a picture of us talking together with the banana milkshake.
"I know he's got a bit of a reputation but I didn't find [any issues with him] when I met him. He was quite nice to me. His post is the first time he's come across as a bit of a joke really."
Kerrie says she's constantly receiving inappropriate messages from men all the time and says there is some truth in her parody.
"I'm single and it's terrible - we women are expected to do everything. Guys don't message first, guys can't carry a conversation. I get asked the rudest questions," she says.
"There is an element of truth in my parody as well because either you can't earn as much as the guy or they think you're there taking his money. It's such double standards.
"I think men need to look at what they offer. That's really lacking at the moment.
"I'm not super successful but I do alright for myself. I have a nice house, I have a nice car, and my child is grown up.
"I do go to the gym and keep myself in shape, so they need to bring something to me as well.
"I'm happy in myself and I don't need them. I would like a partner, but they need to bring something back to me as well. It has to be 50/50."
She went on: "I was talking to a guy and we seemed to be on the same page morally and about what we want in the future.
"It was going quite well and there were back and forth messages for a couple of hours. Then he said, 'when you give a b***job, do you squat or kneel?'.
"The only way to date nowadays is to be on the apps. To be on the app you have to put up with the daily crap that men spout at you. You just wouldn't do it in real life.
"If you wouldn't say it to a woman in real life face-to-face, then my advice is don't say it. If you wouldn't want your mum or sister to know what you've just said to a woman, definitely don't say it.
"I have now spelt it out on my Tinder bio. I feel like you have to spoon-feed men."
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