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Woman, 53, Defends Her Decision To Have A Baby On Her Own

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Woman, 53, Defends Her Decision To Have A Baby On Her Own

A woman has responded to the negative feedback and backlash she has received after giving birth to a child in her 50s, and deciding to give the toddler a younger sibling.

Lan Ma, from Pennsylvania, US, was 50 when she decided to go through IVF to expand her family. Her son Toby, who was born in June 2019.

Toby is now 26 months old and he will become a big brother in the near future. Lan is 53 years old and 26 weeks pregnant with Toby’s biological sibling and despite receiving negative backlash from her peers and strangers, she couldn't be happier.

Lan Ma decided to have another baby aged 50 (Credit: Caters)
Lan Ma decided to have another baby aged 50 (Credit: Caters)
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"Initially, my friends said I am crazy for having a child at 50 as they were looking forward to their kids fleeing the nest and retirement," she explained. "But I have decided I have more life to give to my children, they are my purpose, meaning and calling in life.

"I am fit and healthy with a lot more love to give so it felt right for me. I have been also mistaken for Toby's grandma by random people. But they are strangers who have no significance in my life.

"Throughout my older children's lives, I prided myself with my total self-reliance. It gave me freedom. If I do not reply on anybody, then I never have to be tethered to their opinion and judgement."

Lan also has two teenage children; Thomas, 19 and Tyler, 17 who she raised as a single mum.

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Lan raised Thomas, 19, and Tyler, 17 as a single mum (Credit: Caters)
Lan raised Thomas, 19, and Tyler, 17 as a single mum (Credit: Caters)

The project manager said: “I am very proud to be a single mum by choice past the half of century mark. I would like to women who are contemplating single motherhood some hope as it can be done.

"As my children got older and started looking at universities, I worried about what I would do without them.

"I love my job and logistically I have always worked to provide for my children.

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"I considered starting my own business in the health and wellness industry as I have always been very health conscious and passionate about helping people to stay healthy. But it didn’t feel right. I then decided to become a mum at the tender age of 50.”

Lan’s private health insurance covered most costs leaving the mum to fork out over $25,000 (£18,000) on sperm, eggs and the donor’s medication. She had to persuade her doctor to let her go through with IVF although she warned against using Lan’s own eggs.

Lan is 26 weeks pregnant (Credit: Caters)
Lan is 26 weeks pregnant (Credit: Caters)

“I had no desire for a relationship as I value my independence," she explained.

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“Initially, my doctor wasn’t on board but I explained how much this would mean to me and my family. I expressed how the baby will be born into a family filled with love and joy.

"I am yet to go through menopause and have no problems with my reproductive system but she advised me against using my own eggs due to my age.

“Thomas and Tyler were with me for every step of the way and they helped pick the donors."

The most important thing for Lan was good health and after discovering that there weren’t many Asian donors, the family soon agreed that ethnicity isn’t important. Toby was born with blonde hair and blue eyes and Lan explained she decided she was going to give the little one a younger sibling for his birthday.

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Lan decided to have another child on Toby's first birthday (Credit: Caters)
Lan decided to have another child on Toby's first birthday (Credit: Caters)

“The only thing that mattered was health. I just wanted to be a mother and show my children how enjoyable life is. My purpose in life is to accompany them through their life development.

“On Toby’s first birthday, I decided I’m going to give him a sibling. The pregnancy has been smooth and I can’t wait to welcome his sister into the world.”

Featured Image Credit: Caters

Topics: Life, Real Life

Gregory Robinson
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