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Tyfanee Fortuna said she has tried to make her dog, Prancer, sound "palatable," but decided to go with the honest and up-front approach in the end. Her witty ad has since gone viral.
Prancer is far from the perfect pooch by the sounds of it. His owner describes him as, "a vessel for a traumatised Victorian child that now haunts our home" and a "neurotic, man hating, animal hating, children hating dog".
More than 35,000 people have liked the Facebook post and this controversial ad to adopt Prancer has been shared nearly 60,000 times.
It sounds as though Prancer enjoyed his previous life with his elderly owner more. "Prancer came to me obese, wearing a cashmere sweater, with a bacon egg n cheese stuffed in his crate with him. I should have known in that moment this dog would be a problem," said his owner.
"He was owned by an elderly woman who treated him like a human and never socialised him. Sprinkle in a little genetic predisposition for being nervous, and you've concocted a neurotic mess, AKA Prancer."
"Every day we live in the grips of the demonic Chihuahua hellscape he has created in our home.
"If you own a Chihuahua you probably know what I'm talking about. He's literally the Chihuahua meme that describes them as being 50% hate and 50% tremble."
With all this being said, it comes as a surprise that Fortuna actually had some good things to say about Prancer. "He is loyal beyond belief," said Fortuna.
And just as we thought she was starting to get sentimental, she said: "If someone tried to kill you I can guarantee he would run away screeching.
"But as far as companionship, you will never be alone again. He likes to go for car rides, he is housebroken, he knows a few basic commands, he is quiet and non destructive when left alone at home, and even though we call him bologna face he is kind of cute to look at."
"He also 'smiles' when he is excited. His ideal home would be with a single woman, a mother and daughter, or a lesbian couple." Apparently, Prancer only likes grown women - children and men are a problem.
"You can't live in an apartment or a condo unless you want him to ankle bite your neighbours. We already addressed the men and children situation.
"If you have people over he would have to be put away like he's a vacuum. I know finding someone who wants a chucky doll in a dogs body is hard, but I have to try."
Prancer is two years old and his current owner believes he'll live a long time, just to "spite" people. I for one, hope he does, and that he finds his forever home soon.
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