Mum In Hysterics After Son Tries To Call Ambulance Over Her Period Blood
The American mother had been on a shopping trip with her two four year old sons in Target when nature called, so she bundled them into a tiny toilet cubicle with her and went about her business.
But on sitting down on the toilet seat, she realised that "Aunt Flo had entered the building" - and it didn't take long for the kids to notice, too.
Writing on Facebook blog Momstrosity, she recalled what went down after she failed to "distract" the little'n's from her undies.
It wouldn't have been an issue, only that she was in a public toilet and within earshot of everyone and anyone.
And sure enough, things played out rather... errr... embarrassingly.
Documenting what happened (in the best scripted encounter we've probably ever read) she wrote:
"Child 1: 'MAMA!!!!! You have... BLEED ON YOU!!'
"Child 2, horrified: 'BLEED IS COMIN' OUT OF YOUR BOOTY!!!!!!!!!'"
"I am begging them to be quiet. 'Are we the only ones in here?' I silently pray. A muffled guffaw from the next stall over tells me that we are not."
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"Child 2: 'Mom. Are you okay?!? This is so bad. This is so so bad. You need a bandaid!'
"Child 1: 'NO! We need to call the 911!!'
"Me, frantically checking my purse for the tampon that I know is not there, while also trying to cover their mouths: 'Mommy is totally fine. This is very normal for mommies and women. It looks scary but it is okay.'
"Child 1: 'It is not fine!!!'
"Child 2: 'It's okay to cry, mom'."
If you thought that was bad, it's at this point the cringing mum claims that "several people" walked into the public toilet as their interaction continued.
"Child 2: 'Do you have a cut??? On your booty??'
"Child 1: 'On your bee-jina!?'
"Need an escape plan. I look down to fine Child 2, sticking his head out of the stall to tell another bathroom patron that his mom is, 'bleedin' really bad outta her booty.
"In this moment, I want to die. I scoot them out of the stall to find a precious, older woman at the sink, tears of laughter streaming down her face".
She signed off: "As you may have guessed, I did not make it home with laundry detergent and baby socks today. And also not my dignity."
Ah kids, you've gotta' love em.