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Sleepless nights are just one of the challenges parents face when caring for a new baby. However one dad has explained why he should be exempt from waking up in the middle of the night to change his baby’s nappies and that his wife should do it instead.
Writing on Reddit, the new dad said the couple’s five week old baby wakes up three to four times a night to be breastfed for 20-40 minutes each time.
The anonymous man said his partner believes he should do all the nighttime diaper changes because she does all the breastfeeding. However, he argues he shouldn’t have to because his wife is already awake when she wakes up to feed their baby.
“My argument is that she’s already awake to nurse, so she should do the diaper changes too,” he wrote. “I have offered to do half the diaper changes, but that’s not enough for her.”
He also explained his wife’s reasoning: “Her argument is that since she’s nursing day and night, it’s only fair. She says she needs time to go to the bathroom, drink water, etc, while I am changing the diaper. In her view: I am often grouchy, need to be asked multiple times to get up, and sometimes argue if he even needs to be changed.”
To try and support his argument, the unnamed dad explained the couple’s parental leave agreements. When he returns to work in construction, he says he will need a full eight hours sleep each night. Both mum and dad are on parental leave although the mum is on leave for the next 18 months. “We go to bed at 9 pm, and I get up with our dogs at 6 am and she's up with the baby an hour or two later.”
However many Reddit users were not buying it.
One person responded: "Your wife has not yet recovered from childbirth, your son is exclusively breastfed (my 8 month old son has just switched to bottles, and I am pumping, so I KNOW how tiring it is), you are both on parental leave... and you have the guts to say that since she's awake at night, she might as well change your son after she nurses him. ..and you don't see how selfish everything you say is ??"
While a second Reddit user wrote: "Your wife is exhausted, physically and due to lack of sleep. You have no excuse especially while you’re on parental leave.
"She does need to use the bathroom, drink water, whatever - to take care of herself, so she can take care of your son.
"Parenthood is about shared responsibilities and partnership. You need to grow up and share the burden.
"There’s only room for one baby in your family, and it’s not you. Time to be a dad. It’s hard, but tough sh*t — this is your moment to decide what kind of father, and ultimately husband, you want to be."
Third person quipped: "Stop whining. Be a partner, Dad, husband, and help out."
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