Amanda Bynes Opens Up About Drugs And Infamous Tweets
Amanda Bynes has opened up to PAPER magazine about her relationship with drugs and those infamous tweets.
The She's The Man star is celebrating four years of sobriety and has now decided to open up about her abuse of the drug Adderall which prompted a "drug-induced psychosis".
Revealing that she used to fake symptoms of attention-deficit disorder to a psychiatrist Amanda admitted that she 'definitely abused Adderall'.
View this post on Instagram#BreaktheInternet: Amanda Bynes. Having spent years out of the spotlight, Bynes steps back in and opens up about her tumultuous - and remarkable - journey. #linkinbio Story by @abbyschreiber28 Photos by @daniellelevitt Art Direction by @dwndwntwn Styling by @neverhavetotweet Hair by @samiknighthair Makeup by @edwardcruzmakeup Set Design by @_coopervasquez_ Fashion Direction: @miaasolkin
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She said the psychosis made her loathe her physical appearance so much that she could no longer bear to look at herself on screen.
Amanda revealed that a "mixture of being so high that I couldn't remember my lines and not liking my appearance", made her quit the 2010 film Hall Pass. With watching Easy A being what convinced her that she had to stop acting.
Speaking to PAPER Amanda said that around the time of Hairspray, she remembers "reading an article in a magazine that [called Adderall] 'the new skinny pill' and they were talking about how women were taking it to stay thin. I was like, 'Well, I have to get my hands on that.'"
She added: "When I was doing Hall Pass, I remember being in the trailer and I used to chew the Adderall tablets because I thought they made me [more] high [that way].
"I remember chewing on a bunch of them and literally being scatterbrained and not being able to focus on my lines or memorise them for that matter.
"I remember seeing my image on the screen and literally tripping out and thinking my arm looked so fat because it was in the foreground or whatever and I remember rushing off set and thinking, 'Oh my god, I look so bad'."
Amanda also discussed how dressing as a male for She's the Man triggered a "deep depression for four to six months".
She revealed: "I didn't like how I looked when I was a boy. I've never told anyone that." Amanda highlighted that seeing herself with short hair and sideburns was "a super strange and out-of-body experience. It just really put me into a funk."
Referring to those infamous Tweets from 2013 Amanda explained that she was embarrassed by the things she said and that just thinking about them makes her feel sick to her stomach.
Amanda said: "I'm really ashamed and embarrassed with the things I said. I can't turn back time but if I could, I would. And I'm so sorry to whoever I hurt and whoever I lied about because it truly eats away at me. It makes me feel so horrible and sick to my stomach and sad.
"Everything I worked my whole life to achieve, I kind of ruined it all through Twitter. It's definitely not Twitter's fault - it's my own fault."
Amanda also said that she now wants to return to acting, "kind of the same way I did as a kid, which is with excitement and hope for the best."
She added: "I've been through the worst and came out the other end and survived it so I just feel like it's only up from here."
Featured Image Credit: PA Images